How to Increase Intimacy

Posted by on May 13, 2014 in Relationship Skills | No Comments

Intimacy is the capacity to share oneself with another person at a deep personal level. It is important to be close to another person with whom you can share intimate secrets and who understands and loves you.
There are steps that anyone can follow to achieve greater closeness whether it is between friends or in a romantic relationship.

*Become best friends
Develop the kind of trust that allows you to share your innermost thoughts, fears, goals, aspirations, vulnerabilities with each other. Take care to not use each other’s vulnerabilities as weapons at a later date. This erodes trust.

*Talk out problems
Don’t sweep your differences under the rug. A sign of a healthy relationship is some conflict. There are bound to be differences of opinion between two people with their own unique personalities. Talk differences out and find a solution.

*Make everyday events fun.
If you share grocery shopping, turn it into great fun. Go on a “hunt” in the store or try to beat the clock in filling the cart. Choose to have fun doing dishes, cleaning the house, washing the car and mowing the grass or raking the leaves.

*Learn about the other person’s “turn-ons”

Share interest in and learn as much as you can about the other person’s wants and interests. Meanwhile, too, remember to seek reciprocity so as to keep yourself from simply accommodating to another person.

*Build shared experiences
As you are getting to know the other person, it’s important to schedule some physical activities together. Often closeness is experienced through physical exertion because it releases emotion.
In addition to physical activities there are a variety of intellectual and cultural experiences. Closeness can come from attending concerts, lectures, movies, going to art galleries or museums and discussing your perceptions afterwards.
If this person is special and you feel attracted beyond friendship, you may also want to:

*Create romance
There are lots of ways to do this. Provide the extra touches that make for a special feeling. If you each plan a romantic evening, there can be a wonderful sense of anticipation and magic as it unfolds. A romantic evening can also take place at home. Candles, music, a special dinner, time alone to talk. Make it happen!